在这个地方,您想学习直觉的饮食并停止节食,而且还能减肥,这是旅途中很正常的地方。期望减肥是我们文化中的主流,因此,如果您想减肥,那是有道理的。其实是意料之中的。那不’意思是直觉饮食是减肥的一种方式–它根本不存在,如果您看到它那样销售,那’被称为节食而不是直觉的饮食– but I think it’对于一个想要改变自己的身体,但又想在食物中找到自由的人来说,这是正常的。您可以在那个艰难,紧张的空间中与这些概念搏斗…that’是过程的一部分。并且,当您开始进行人体图像工作时,您仍然可能希望改变自己的身体。那’正常。困难的部分是要来到一个地方’不再积极追求减肥或改变身体。尝试操纵身体会阻碍IE的旅程,并妨碍您对身体的耐受力和接受能力。如果你’re not there yet, 那 is okay。您’re right where 您 need to be and giving 您rself time and space to wrestle through 那 is really important.
身体形象工作很难。而且比“爱自己”要复杂得多。它’凌乱和不舒服,有时甚至在那里’很大的不确定性。实际上,我们许多人永远不会爱自己的身体。我们可以努力接受和欣赏我们的身体…但是为了拥有健康的身体形象,您不必爱自己的身体。那’s a high expectation 那 some will experience, but it isn’健康的身体形象的要求。
直觉的饮食和身体接受旅程的很大一部分就是放开并为瘦弱的理想感到悲伤。或者,如果您已经生活或生活在一个很小的身体中,请放开“thinner” body 那 once way or 那 is currently unsustainable. In order to find acceptance, we often have to go through a grieving process.
您可能会为节食和与体重和体重一起消耗而错过的社交活动,人际关系或其他事情感到悲伤。您可能会花费所有的时间和精力来努力达到理想的体重或体型,’可持续发展,现在正在改变。您可能会对因减肥而导致的悠悠减肥增加您的设定点的可能性感到不安。可能是你’通过节食,过度运动,轻泻性滥用或其他有害行为,严重伤害您的身体。这些行为引起的医学诊断确实很难达成共识。一世’我有几个客户与我分享,他们由于营养/运动的选择而导致生育困难,而在没有生育治疗帮助的情况下怀孕,他们为自己的饮食和运动所造成的痛苦感到非常悲伤和愤怒。也许你’梦想着一旦达到体重或体型______________,或体型达到____号时的感受,您会做的所有事情。也许您只是幻想生活变得更好,或者一旦体重减轻,问题就会消失。
Letting go of the person 您 have dreamed of being can literally feel like losing a close person in 您r life. Accepting 那 no matter 您r body size, 您 are still 您 而且无论您的身高有多艰巨,您仍然必须应对生活中的精神和情感问题。但是放开这些东西可以让您真正开始生活。它使您可以开始自己出现。与我们的想法相反,我们实际上对身体几乎没有控制权– unless we are willing to do extreme things which sometimes people are willing to do for a short time, but not for life. Genetics are powerful. And our socioeconomic status, ethnicity, and race are a few of many other factors 那 greatly affect our body size and health, but 那 we actually have very little or no control over at all.
There is a level of uncertainty to the journey towards intuitive eating. I tell my clients 那 there are 3 possibilities with 您r body 当你 embark on IE and letting go of dieting – 您r body can get smaller, stay the same, or 您r body will get larger. There are no guarantees in the journey and 那 can be terrifying. But what IS worthwhile is choosing to engage in behaviors 那 honor 您r health and help 您 care for 您r entire self –身体,思想和灵魂–而不是选择行为来控制您的身材。它可能会变得更好,然后变得更糟,但从长远来看,它是值得的。
我读了 发布 几个月前,我的RD朋友和同事 雷切尔·哈特利 on moving through the stages of grief when it comes to body acceptance 那 I would highly recommend reading. This process is an ebb and flow. This ebb and flow is why I say we never really arrive. There’s no finish line. 生活 is always changing and there were be times in our lives when things happen 那 make us really vulnerable to negative thoughts about our body or make us want to go back to dieting or exercising unhealthily.
我发现对自己的旅途真正有帮助,而其他许多女性发现对我的帮助对我来说,则是通过控制或沉迷于自己的体型来写下您失去的一切。饮食文化确实很诱人。它向您显示所有正面(通常是不现实和不真实的),而没有负面的。你朋友节食的声音 超好的 当你’让您的身体感到不适。但是,要实现目标,您会失去什么或必须牺牲什么?您会错过什么?您的人际关系将如何受到影响?在接下来的几年里,您想记住什么–痴迷于食物和您的身体或以有意义和有目的的方式生活?
It’好的,如果您在美学上更喜欢以前的身体,或者在美学上更喜欢幻想的瘦身,’ve never had. I think 您 can prefer 那 body, but accept and appreciate the body 您 do have at the same time. We can hold them both. I prefer my smaller body, but the sacrifices I would have to make to get there are 1000% not worth it to me and I much prefer the 整个人 那 I am in the body I live in today. Nothing is worth the feeling of truly and fully living.
可能是你’re on 您r intuitive eating journey, but deep down holding onto hope 那 one day 您’ll fit back into those shorts 您 once wore. 可能是你’比过去更灵活地进食,所以情况会更好,但是您’re still thinking about 您r body often and terrified of it changing. 可能是你’re scared 那 您’ll never be able to stop eating if 您 fully embrace intuitive eating and walk 那 path, or maybe 您’re terrified 您r body will never stop gaining if 您 truly let go of control. Those are real and honest feelings and 您 are not alone in 那. I would really encourage 您 to dig deep into the 直觉饮食 and Health At Every Size (HAES) concepts.
书籍,直觉饮食,各种规模的健康和对身体的尊重都是开始的好地方。 HAES和IE并不意味着“吃任何你想要的并开心”这两个概念都非常关注身体健康,同时也关注一个’身心健康…which ultimately impact physical health. In the same breath, I recognize 那 embracing IE and HAES for me, in a culturally accepted thin body, didn’t come with the added layer of stigma and oppression 那 it would have if I was living in a larger body. Embracing this concepts can be really hard so give 您rself time and space and safe people to process this with.
放手是能够与身体和食物融洽相处的关键部分。它’s hard and it’s scary and it’s uncertain, but 您’ll never know how full and meaningful life could be until 您 release the grip of diet culture and decide to give 您rself the opportunity to experience what 那 life might look like.
I’d喜欢在评论中听到您的想法和自己的经历<3
罗宾– thank 您 for always being so authentic with 您r 发布s. I also still prefer my 稀释剂 body, which feels crazy to me because I KNOW how unhealthy I had to be in order to maintain it. But the fact is, I found (and still find) 那 稀释剂 body aesthetically pleasing. I will occasionally see a picture of myself in a smaller body and old thoughts will creep back in about wanting to be 稀释剂. Luckily, I can quickly catch these thoughts & I remind myself how I felt back then. The smile I had in those old photos was masking all the fear, pain, isolation, and self-hatred 那 I was experiencing. I never want to go back to 那 place. No body size is worth living half of a life.
It’s human to prefer 您r 稀释剂 body because we live in a culture 那 really values thinness. BUT 您 have learned such powerful skills 麦莉 to combat those thoughts. Thank 您 for encouraging others with 您r comment about what is really worthwhile <3
这绝对是我现在正在研究的内容,因此我觉得这篇文章正在对我讲话。感谢您的精彩文章,Robyn。您’重新激发了我的旅程-
很高兴这引起了米歇尔的共鸣!
谢谢!我没有’我对直觉饮食的这一方面了解很多,并对此表示赞赏。一世’m struggling a lot with my body size, in part because I am pretty confident 那 I’m above my “set point” right now. I was on bed rest, injured, and emotionally eating to cope with 那 and gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. I don’t want to focus on weight loss, but I have comfort in knowing 那 it might occur. I try not to let 那 sabotage me. I am trying to keep my focus on building up my endurance and energy levels and learning some other coping methods versus focusing on losing weight…我的身体会自我照顾,并达到我现在生命中合适的体型。
想着您的艾比,希望能从受伤中迅速康复!
我完全处于相信HAES和直觉饮食的空间中,同时也努力寻求身体的认可。当然,我的大脑全有或全无’只是想要身体的接纳,我想要全身心的爱。无论我的身材和体形如何,我都想看一下自己,看看一个美丽,性感的女人。有时我为没有到那里而感到难过。我也担心因为这个原因,我仍然难以怀孕。与过去几年相比,我增加了体重,吃得越来越饱,恢复了我的经期,但是’只是没有发生。我的黄体期太短了,我担心’是因为我重新加入了我不喜欢的低强度运动’不想因为害怕我会增加体重而不得不再次放弃。我的大脑一直在往复运动:爱你的身体!不要’加大体重!您正在破坏有家庭的机会!它’筋疲力尽,但我讨厌我仍然非常关心自己的外表。厌食症已经度过了我17年的生命,如果没有它,我想充分体验剩下的一切。我希望向我的孩子们展示不同形状和大小的人是美丽的,但这是您如何表现自己以及拥有哪些价值观真正代表您的身份。这么说,谢谢你的这篇文章。不受限制和运动依赖的恐惧令人恐惧,但我确实认为人体图像片段是最难的部分。
嗨希拉里–哦,我的心向你倾诉。您很勇敢地继续进行此过程。我知道这很令人沮丧,但我想念您的评论“she has come so far!”继续与这些想法搏斗,并与善战战斗。您并不孤单,这是艰苦而又勇敢的工作。<3
绝对喜欢这整个职位!我也喜欢我的身体变小了,但我的生命却没有变小(:
<3
当我回头看看我浪费的岁月,岁月,避免有趣的活动并拒绝给自己穿好衣服时,我感到难过,因为我一直在等到减肥(或减轻体重)为止。我花了十几岁,二十多岁和三十多岁的大部分时间,通过饮食和对运动的痴迷来占据大脑空间。
哦,有多少女人可以与苏珊建立联系<3
我现在的思维定式是1000%,非常感谢您发表这篇文章。我真的很想拥抱“caring” for my body over “loving” it right now, because it feels a lot more attainable. Something 那 has really helped me has been seeing the results of happy/balanced hormones as I gain weight and eat more. My periods are soooo much more regular and PMS symptoms are way more mild, and 那 is enough to keep me going on this journey!
Another thing 那 really helps me is to think of my body being in a certain “life stage”. This jumps off from 您r content about how our bodies are *supposed* to change! In our 20s and 30s, reproduction is heavily prioritized, and if we support it by taking care of ourselves, 那’s how we’我会感觉最好的。那’只是科学。拥抱这个阶段(即使我’m not trying to get pregnant!) has been huge for me. Whether I like it or not, my body wants to practice getting pregnant every single month, and I can get on board with 那 or pretend it’没有发生。与身体对抗要容易得多!我希望随着年龄的增长将其应用到30多岁,40多岁,更年期及以后。
Thank 您 so much 玛丽 for sharing 您r experience and some things 那 have been helpful for 您. I know this is going to help so many readers seeing 您r comment!
与身体对抗要容易得多! –> YES
嗨罗宾,我喜欢这个帖子!它是如此真实。一世’m about 5 and a half years into IE now (with lots of ups and downs along the way, but finally in a stable place). For most of 那 time I was still grappling with everything 您 wrote about here –想爱自己,但仍然告诉自己“哦,但是我的腿比较瘦…”很难处理的东西,需要大量的灵魂搜索。
现在对我有帮助的是始终将其恢复到我的价值观。我还有几天看着自己感到悲伤或失望。经过了漫长的过程,现在当我’我很失望– “我现在忽略了什么价值观?”我的核心价值观之一是找时间散步,远足和消磨时光。它带给我很多欢乐,并荣耀我的身体,思想和精神。大多数时候,我’ve realized, when I’我对我的身体很生气’s because I’m not engaging in the activities I need to live out my values. Once I get in touch with 那, it’少看我的身体,而多看我’m choosing to experience life. It helps to bring me out of the sad-panic-diet cycle 那 would have happened before. And of course it’每个人都不一样! --
非常感谢Alexa分享了对您有所帮助的内容!!所以鼓励听到你的故事<3
这个帖子来不及了。高中时我比较瘦,尝试学位后却体重减轻了。我每周工作4天,实际上很享受,但我没有’t weigh myself, and I added more fruit into my diet, but I also ate things I enjoyed. I still long for 那 body and hope to get it back one day, I feel like 那 is where my natural 设定点 was, but I know I should let 那 go and accept the body I’m in now. I still have all of those clothes 那 I hope to fit into one day in boxes. I wish my mindset was back in 那 place again. That is when I felt my best.
I hear 您 维多利亚州 and grieving 您r high school body can be so hard. Remember 那 女人’人们的身体应该从我们青少年时代开始发生变化。我们经历了青春期并进入成年阶段-
What a truly beautiful 发布! Thank 您 for writing this :). I completely agree 那 “love 您r body”已经不合比例了。我们不’t have to “love our body”但是我们可以接受它。
同意!
Oh, I so needed to hear this 发布 today! Especially with it Summer, I think the influence and pressure for bodies to be a certain size is more apparent 那 any other time of the year. I like what 您 write here about recoginizing 那 this is a process, 那 it’s never really a finish line. It makes me think about the Stages of Change and how even in the Maintenance Stage, the person is STILL practicing the healthy behaviors 那 helped them to change in the first place. It makes sense 那 our fears and grief would still come up. Just because they come up, doesn’并不意味着我们必须对他们采取行动。它’关于挑战他们的更多信息。
夏天可能是一个脆弱的时期!是的,想法只是我们的大脑提供的东西
Prob the best blog 发布 I have ever read. Ever! 罗宾, thank 您. It is so helpful to get glimpses into the raw humanity of others’ thoughts whenngojng through life. I feel like it is all too easy to idealize others when we are looking on from the outside, but the reality is 那 we all have the same thoughts and fears going through our heads on the inside, thanks to the pervasive cultural messages we hear daily. Thank 您 for giving a voice to those thoughts — it is affirming to normalize the worda going through my head, knowing 那 the exact same words are going through others’ minds as well!
很高兴您喜欢Cassidy!您并不孤单!
I’ve been working on my IE journey for over a year now with the help of an IE RD (who is FANTASTIC). I’ve had a baby in the process and am now 发布 partum. The problem 那 I’m having lately is 那 I kind of feel like being 稀释剂 IS actually worth all of the sacrifices, because my unhappiness with my body is affecting me daily. I’m hoping this is just a bump in the road, but I miss feeling good/confident in my skin.
I’我会鼓励你库珀继续努力–我在你的不幸中听到你。但是身体形象的康复并没有’不能通过改变我们的身体而发生,因为如果我们的身体在将来改变(他们会的,因为每个人都在衰老),那会发生什么?’我为你和我加油’非常高兴您正在与令人惊叹的RD合作!
所以我了解你’re saying about preferring a 稀释剂 body but at the same time accepting and not trying to change 您r current body.
My question though is 那 if it’s true all bodies are beautiful why do most people find 稀释剂 bodies more appealing? Do 您 think this is solely culturally learned? I guess my question is are some people naturally blessed with 稀释剂 (more attractive bodies) in the same way 那 some people are born with amazing singing voices and the rest of us just have to accept and do the best with what we have, acknowledging 那 we were not given the same genes someone else was?
文化。您可能会发现有帮助的一本非常好的书是《真理的身体》。极力推荐!
I really needed to read this 发布 today and it could not have come at a better time! I’m starting back on my intuitive eating/health at every size journey. It’s been a struggle tole accepting 那 I needed to buy some different clothing (and spending the money to buy those items) and not critiquing my body for the changes. I do not love my body now, but I am actively trying not to lose the weight and go on any sort of extreme diet or exercise plan- just intuitive eating and movement. Thank 您 for sharing 您r wisdom, 罗宾! You help so many!
I do not love my body now, but I am actively trying not to lose the weight and go on any sort of extreme diet or exercise plan –> those behaviors of not actively trying to lose weight are a huge step 卡拉! I am cheering 您 on!
喜欢这个职位。感谢您的分享以及如此开放和诚实!
很高兴您喜欢Alli!
嗨罗宾,
首先祝贺您的宝宝!我在11月第一次回来,这是迄今为止最有意义(和最具挑战性!)的经历。我想问你一段时间有关IE的问题,但我’m来自(我认为)许多读者/客户的另一端。无需过多讨论,您是否认为’s possible to lose “neccessary”减肥而没有节食?我说这是必要的,因为我可以合理地承受健康的体重(尤其是在婴儿以后),而且我确实与营养师合作,但是我与食物的关系一直困扰着我。我一生都超重。我曾经掉了100磅,但是以一种非常糟糕的限制性方式接管了我的生命,然后又重新获得了生命。我不 ’再也不想走那条路了,早产儿以非常缓慢但健康的方式减掉了50磅体重。我现在又在研究这个问题,但总是想知道像我这样的人在努力达到健康体重的过程中是否真的可以做到直觉(我不再专注于数字了,记录下来),我确实有这本书,但我觉得在那里’从我的角度来看,对人的影响不大。我确实问过我自己的营养师,但她有点不喜欢。抱歉,这么久了,但我喜欢你要说的食物&生活一般,很想知道您的想法!
照顾自己,
梅丽莎
I think 您 have expressed this notion of not needing to LOVE 您r body before, and I remember what a lightbulb moment it was for me when I first read 那. I loved reading it again in this 发布… it was great timing for me to get this reminder!! I appreciate 您 sharing 您r own personal struggles with this because sometimes I forget 那 您 are human too and I just assume 那 您 must 爱惜身子!
另外-通常,我在工作时会在第一时间阅读这些帖子,但是现在由于我放假(成为一名教育工作者的特权),我在计算机上的访问频率一直不太稳定。我喜欢晚读几天,并喜欢阅读您其他读者的所有回复。女士们,我们并不孤单!!!它’意识到我们所有人都在为身体形象而苦苦挣扎的过程中,我感到安慰和悲伤。同时让我心碎,并充满了对那里所有女人的爱。谢谢你,罗宾(Robyn)为我们提供了如此巨大的连接空间!!!
In a big way, I find myself, more and more grieving what I did to my body during the 10 year of restriction and eating disordered thoughts 那 were pretty heavy and hard. I look back at myself, and there are twinges of wanting to back to 那 稀释剂 body, but most of me is SO happy to let 那 go. I’m so happy and thankful to be over with 那 stage of my life and healing! I think I might say 那 I’m in the more final stages of grief over letting go of 那 pre-teen body, letting go of 那 during ED body.
<3我喜欢您形容为悲伤和学习经历悲伤的不同阶段。
我会以很大的方式说'm在我爱的地方,我的身体比以往任何时候都更强大,更疲倦。
Interestingly, I see pictures of my thin body and actually recoil a little. It makes me angry 那 I got compliments when I should have gotten questions asking if I was OK, if I was eating enough, if i was exercising too much. I’m not blaming my friends or family but I’m angry with diet culture for making 那 body so attractive and making my behaviors so praised when I was in a living hell/prison inside my own mind. Unfortunately, people close to me still don’t know the extent to which my disordered eating and fear of weight gain were crippling my life and they still think 那 body size was a sign of me being “so healthy” so I’m inspired and encouraged to keep sharing my story and help people understand.
Those are total normal and valid feelings 萨凡纳 and I can 100% understand 那. Diet culture will applaud thinness and weight loss at ANY cost and it is so harmful. Thank 您 for sharing this perspective!
我需要回到这篇文章–以及以上所有这些评论–每天。这是我最有力的灵感形式’我已经读了很长时间。谢谢你,罗宾。
很棒的文章。分享。就像您写的正是我今天早上需要阅读的内容。 --
Thank 您 for writing this 罗宾. I definitely occasionally have those thoughts, like wow, I did it once I can definitely do it again. Should I do it again? Then I can feel perhaps more confident in absolutely anything I wear. But then with 那 comes the memories of all the horrible anxiety, the lack of personality, the constant feeling of being not enough, and I’m like….yeahhhhh NO。我们的身体尺寸甚至还不能满足充实和幸福生活的最重要要求,因此,真的不值得投入那么多的精力和压力。
我真的很喜欢您的博客/网站’对我有很大帮助。我一直在挣扎着想要一个更苗条的身材,因为直到最近我一直承受着很大的压力并且还到了中年,才真正担心体重。突然之间,我在2个月内增加了25磅以上的体重。我待在家里,在家上学,给两个有特殊需要的孩子做妈妈,所以压力和我的情感饮食以及使用食物作为应对机制的压力一样。当我的孩子还是婴儿时,我还经历了某些食物选择的剥夺时期,因为我正在母乳喂养,而且他们俩都具有极高的食物敏感性,因此我的饮食必须非常狭窄以保持他们的健康(基本上只吃鸡肉和米饭几个月)。我最老的也有多种威胁生命的食物过敏,所以有些食物我们只是不吃’不要再吃东西或留在房子里以确保他的安全。无论如何,我想我想说的是很难理解所有这些并接受我现在必须变得更大,因为其中包含了很多内容。其中一部分是社会和虚荣心,一部分是压力,一部分是不公平的。我不确定从哪里开始。但是我真的很想念我的小身材,也许承认这是接受它赢得胜利的第一步’t change.
好的帖子!感谢分享此信息。
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帖子不错!感谢分享。
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